their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
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