I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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