4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
