Pappa wants mamma naked
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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