go do what you do best...puke behind churches
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
