If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
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