You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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