Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Randomize
