Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize