i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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