Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Randomize
