so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
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