You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
