just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
Randomize
