The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
