there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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