im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
My pussy is not your playground.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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