i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
