Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
