update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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