Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
