No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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