Are we in a gay sports bar?
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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