You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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