I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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