i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Do vagina's smell?
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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