I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I just had sex on a roof
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
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