i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Randomize
