the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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