so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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