don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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