why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Randomize
