i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
