what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
