I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
