He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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