Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
It's blow job season.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
