stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
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