Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
