Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Where is the hickey?
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize