it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize