Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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