new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
