and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
