just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
