Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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