dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
i drank out of a bidet.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
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