My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
