I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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