i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
