Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
