I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize
