im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Never joke about your clitoris.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
