I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
