hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
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