pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Randomize