What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
