did you get engaged???
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
