dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
