saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
