i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
