Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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