note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
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