What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
