i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
