I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize