he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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