Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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