Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
