No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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